Spiralling out of control
by rachbob
Summary: Based on the autumn trailer. What happens when Arthur's GAD gets so bad that he's admitted to holby. How will he cope surrounded by all of his colleagues and will he get better or worse.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my holby city fan fiction and it's about Arthur with his GAD, hope you enjoy and please review.**

 **Based on the autumn trailer. What happens when Arthur's GAD gets so bad that he's admitted to holby. How will he cope being surrounded by his colleagues and will he get better or worse.**

 **The first 2 maybe 3 chapters will be based around the plot of the show but then it will be my own plot.**

 **I don't own holby city all rights to go through BBC**

 **Chapter 1:**

Arthur sat in Hanssen's office wondering why he had just told them everything. Everything that was going on in his head, the panic attacks, the self-medicating, always feeling stressed and always anxious. And that's what lead him to sitting in Hanssen's office with miss campbell pouring his heart out.

"You do know that stealing medicine from the trolley and taking it is serious Dr Digby", miss campbell said sternly, she was intrigued to know what was going on with Digby. She liked and he was a doctor but she just couldn't understand why, and then she realised. It all made perfect sense, he was losing concentration, snapping at people, disappearing whenever anything went wrong. She cursed herself for not noticing sooner.

"Dr Digby I have thought about this 'situation' and I'm in my right mind to suspend you", Dr Hanssen said, Digby looked at him desperately. "However I am going to give you some time off to sort yourself out and get back on the right track."

Digby nodded and got up and left the room swiftly not wanting to spend any longer in there that what he had to. Walking through AAU and out into the corridor, Digby bumped into Dom. "Woah watch where your going diggers", Dom said jokingly except Digby didn't find it funny. "Just leave me alone Dom", Arthur and walked away trying to control his breathing. Leaving Dom standing in the corridor trying to work out what had just happened.

"Dr Copeland", came to menacing sound of Dr Hanssens voice from down the corridor. Dom sighed, turned around and walked up to him, _what have I done now?,_ he thought to himself. "Dr Copeland, I would like you to do me a favour", Dom stared Mr hanssen not believing what he had just heard.

"Hold on you want me to do you a favour?", he asked almost laughing. "Yes Dr Copeland, it's about Dr Digby", Dom's facial expression changed. "What about him?", Dom asked worry evident in his tone.

"I think Dr Digby may be suffering from a panic/anxiety disorder and I would like you to get him back on the straight and narrow. Now do you think you can do that", Dom nodded trying to make sense of the situation. "Good", Dr Hanssen said and walked away.

Dom thought to himself, it Arthur had been suffering from an anxiety disorder then everything that's happened would of made sense. Dom had made a mental note every time he was with him that he always seemed nervous and on edge.

Dom walked out of the hospital to find Arthur sitting on a bench, he walked over to him. "Come on you", he said as Arthur stood up Dom put hand round his shoulder and promised he was going to whatever he could to help his friend.

 **Thank you for reading, please review and let me know what you think. :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own holby city all rights to go to the BBC**

Chapter 2:

A few days later Arthur and Dom were yet again playing with Arthur's battlefield game. "Right now you need to move your army to here so that mine can win", Arthur said, Dom sighed and put his hand to his army; instead of moving them he just knocked them all off.

"You've just destroyed the house of Wellington", Arthur said sounding slightly annoyed. "Well why can't Wellington win for once", Dom said. "Look if your just going to ruin the game then we won't play", Arthur said putting his stick down on the table and walking off.

"Look", Dom said standing up, "you need a change of scenery, we also need to get you sorted out so you can go back to holby and that Hanssen doesn't kill us." Arthur sighed, "but we haven't got any money, we can't afford to do anywhere." Dom smiled, "we don't need money where we're going, come on get your bags packed."

Sitting in the car Arthur was trying work out how he had got there, he knew he was going to resign from holby, no doubt about it and he also knew that Hanssen wouldn't mind.

"It's down here somewhere", Dominic said, as he looked around trying to find Shangri-la. "Well don't blame me I thought you knew where you were going", Arthur said sounding frustrated and they drove past Shangri-la his feelings didn't change.

"There we are", Dom said as they drove past a sign that read 'shangri-la' Arthur sighed. "The dictionary definition of Shangri-la is a sort of imaginary remote paradise on earth", he said not sounding too impressed.

"Look diggers normal, ordinary people actually come here to have some fun and you and I both know that panic disorder sufferers tend to let their worlds shrink. They get overwhelmed so me and you are going to conquer that."

The weekend could of gone better for Dom but for Digby it was a bit of an eye opener. He was going to go back to holby and tell Hanssen that he still wanted to work on AAU.

Dom came downstairs and grabbed his coat, "you ready?", he asked Arthur who was sitting on the sofa staring into nothingness and noticeably breathing quite quick. Dom walked over to Arthur and crouched down in front of him.

"No one's gonna think any less of you if you can't do today", he said Arthur just shook his head, "look just take some deep breaths, stay calm and you'll be fine." He tapped Arthur's shoulder and they both walked out ready to face the demands of holby city.

 **Thank you for reading, I know this a bit short will be longer next time, please review I want to know if people are enjoying this :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone that has read this story and a massive thank you to jynx999, . .brothers and jisbon1996 who have favourite/follwed this story, it means a lot :)**

 **I don't own holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 3:

As Arthur and Dom reached the entrance of the hospital, Arthur started to slow down and he felt his chest get tighter. He stopped by the entrance and leaned against the wall, praying in his head that he wasn't going to have a panic attack.

Dom turned around and saw this, he went straight over to Arthur and breathed with him. It seemed to work as Arthur calmed down and smiled, "right best be off then", Arthur said as he walked into the hospital taking a deep breath. Dom watched his friend and he was worried, worried that Arthur had went back to work to soon.

Arthur knocked on Mr. Hanssen's door and was greeted by the sinister tone of his voice. "Come in Dr. Digby", Arthur went in and took a seat on a chair in front of Hanssen's desk. "So you feel that you're ready to come back?", Hanssen asked a nervous looking Digby. "Erm, yes", Arthur replied. Hanssen nodded and carried on speaking, "you know Dr. Digby that if you slip up or crack again then I will have to consider your place at holby, and your personal health." Digby nodded and stood up shaking Hanssen's hand then went out to go and get changed.

Arthur's first patient was a middle aged man, around 50 who had fallen down his stairs after tripping over. Digby didn't like the sound of this at all. What also didn't help was that the man was quite rude and insulting. Arthur knew he would have to keep his cool with this patient otherwise he would be out of a job.

"Right then Mr King shall we get that leg looked at", Arthur said as he walked over to his patient ready to treat his leg. The man grunted, "do you have any idea how long I have been waiting", the man complained obviously not happy with the care he had been provided.

"Yes Mr King we are a hospital and we are also very busy today, so you are being seen as soon as possible. Now that I am here though why don't we see to your leg and you can get out of here as soon as possible", Arthur said as he went to see the man's leg except the man pulled his leg away and shouted. "I don't want you treating me, I want a proper doctor." Arthur sighed, "well sir I am the only doctor your getting so suck it up and deal with it!", Digby shouted without realising that he had attracted a crowd.

"Is there a problem over here?", Raf asked walking over to Arthur and his patient. "Its this doctor here", he said pointing to a now shaky and panicky Arthur, "he can't do his job." Raf turned around and looked at Arthur who was now breathing quite rapidly, he was shaking and trembling and clutching his chest.

"Arthur are you alright?", Raf asked as Digby backed away and ran into the locker room. "Fletch, can you see to this man here please, I'm gonna go and see what's up with Digby", Raf said, he went into the locker room to find Arthur curled up against the wall struggling to breath, shaking and panicking. Raf knew exactly what was happening, Arthur was having a panic attack.

Raf quickly crouched down in front of Arthur of put his hands on his shoulders. "Arthur, listen I need you to breath for me, look in and out, in and out", Raf said in a desperate bid to get Arthur to calm down. Raf placed Arthur's shaky hand on his chest and his breathing started to slow down.

"That's it", Raf said as Arthur started to calm down. "I think you've came back to work too soon", he said hoping Arthur would agree but all he did was stand up and try to walk out of the room. "Whoa, Digby just wait yeah I am gonna have to tell Hanssen about this , but don't panic we can get you help", Raf said hoping Arthur would agree but instead he just walked out not wanting to have that conversation.

Raf had informed fletch about what had happened and he was now on Keller ward looking for Dom. "Ah, Dr. Copeland have you seen Digby anywhere?" Dom looked at Raf with concern. "No why?", Dom asked.

Raf sighed, "he had a panic attack, I managed to calm him down but then he just walked out." Dom looked shocked, "what! Are you saying he another panic attack, uh Hanssen's gonna kill him." Raf looked confused, "what so your saying Hanssen knows about this." Dom nodded but didn't say anything.

"Dr Copeland now is not the time to play games, if there is something wrong with Arthur I have a right know", Raf said now deeply concerned for Arthur. "Okay, okay", Dom said, "we think Digby may have a generalized anxiety disorder."

 **Thank you for reading, please review I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much to everyone who has followed/favourite it means a lot and also a big thank you to guest and good Cumberland for your reviews they made me smile.**

 **I don't own holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 4:

Arthur sat on a bench just outside of the hospital. He was shaking, trembling, his legs wouldn't stop jiggling, his breathing was quick and his head was spinning. It was now that the realisation hit Arthur, he'd just walked out on his first day back. Hanssen was going to kill him. He contemplated going back in but Arthur decided not to, he was just going to sit there until someone found him.

"What", Raf replied not quite believing what he was hearing. "How long has this gone on?" Dom sighed, "I don't really know, but it's the reason why me and him haven't been here as Hanssen said for me to get him 'back on the right track.' Unfortunately, by the looks of things it hasn't worked.

"I didn't know things got that bad, but we have to tell Hanssen", Raf said not following procedure would just get them in even more trouble. "Wait, no we can't", Dom said pleading with Raf. "Sorry Dom, but we don't have a choice", Raf said walking away to Hanssen's office with Dom hot on his heels.

"Come in", responded Hanssen to the knock at his door. Raf and Dom walked in dreading what they were about to tell Hanssen. "Gentlemen, what do I owe this pleasure." Raf sighed and just decided to get it over and done with.

"It's Dr. Digby, he's had another panic attack and walked out, we don't know where he is", Raf said and saw the look on Hanssen's face. Mr. Hanssen turned to Dom, "I thought you said he was ready to come back?", he asked a nervous looking Dom. "Yes, but obviously I was wrong", Dom replied through gritted teeth.

Hanssen thought over his options and settled on one. "Thank you gentlemen and on your way out could you please send in miss campbell", Hanssen requested knowing he was going to need her help.

Miss campbell knocked on the door of Hanssen's office wondering why she had been called. She was wondering whether it had something to do with her or whether it had something to do with Digby. She walked at the sound of Hanssen's beckoning tone and sat down in front of his desk.

"Miss campbell due to recent events I'm inclined to admit Arthur Digby into hospital", Hanssen said shocking Serena. _Why was he admitting Arthur?_ She thought to herself. _What had happened that she didn't know about?_ "Hold on, what's happened?", she asked trying to make sense of the situation. "Dr. Digby has had another panic attack and has walked out of the hospital. I said I would like to admit him to a clinic", Hanssen said sharply.

Serena sighed she didn't had got that bad, now though, she knew that Hanssen would suggest admitting Arthur. That was something she knew Arthur wouldn't agree with. "Listen, I know Arthur and i know that he's not going to admit himself into a clinic", Serena said hoping Hanssen would agree.

Hanssen leaned forward and placed his hands on the desk, "so what are you suggesting?", he asked. "I suggest that Arthur is admitted to holby. He can stay in a side room on the ward, as I think that Arthur would recover better surrounded by people who him and care for him", Serena replied hoping she'd voiced her opinions.

Hanssen took this into consideration and nodded, "okay then, we'll admit Dr. Digby as soon as possible all we have to do is find him", he said. Serena nodded, "I have an idea for that", she said and walked out of the room.

Back on the ward Serena walked up to Raf and Fletch and ahw pulled them aside. "Right boys, me and Mr Hanssen have decided that Arthur is to be admitted to holby", she saw the shocked looks on their faces. "However at the minute we need to find him, so I'm asking you two to look around the hospital and outside. If you find him bring him to Hanssen's office", she finished, the two men nodded and walked away both concerned for Arthur.

"Right where do you think he'll be?", Fletch asked as he and Raf reached the entrance to AAU. "I don't know", Raf replied, "look I'll check Keller, you check Darwin then we'll meet downstairs by the cafe", Raf finished. "Sounds like a plan to me", Fletch said walking off in the direction of Darwin.

As Raf was walking through Keller, he bumped into Dom who asked about Arthur. All Raf could say was what he knew, that Arthur was going to be admitted and they had to find him. Dom pleaded with Raf to let him help, but Raf said no and Dom said he would keep an eye out.

Meanwhile on Darwin Fletch wasn't having much luck, that was until he looked out the window and saw Arthur sitting on the desk. He sprinted out of Darwin and ran down to reception. As he got down there he ran outside and found Arthur sitting on the bench.

"You alright mate?", he asked approaching Arthur cautiously. Arthur didn't say anything he didn't even move. "Everyone's looking for ya, why don't you back inside", Fletch said hoping Arthur would come. Even by looking at Arthur you could see he was in a bad state, Fletch just didn't realise how bad he had got.

Arthur slowly got to his feet and Fletch put his arm around his shoulder guiding him into the hospital. As they reached the door Arthur started to slow down but Fletch gently helped him inside and they managed to make it to AAU. As Fletch guided Arthur to Hanssen's office he stopped completely and Fletch knocked on the door knowing this was about to change Arthur's life forever.

 **Thank you for reading, please review I would love to see what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who has followed/favourite. Also a massive thank you to Good cyberman, . .brothers, and guest for reviewing, your reviews made me smile and I'm glad that your enjoying the story.**

Chapter 5:

Arthur sat in Hanssen's office, his hands and leggings trembling; he wasn't able to look Hanssen in the eye. He didn't know what was going on but he knew he'd screwed up big time; he was preparing himself for the grilling Hanssen was about to give him.

Instead Hanssen didn't start to speak and Serena walked in. She walked past Arthur looking at him, except Arthur couldn't look at her. She took a seat near to where Hanssen was and braced herself for what was about to be said.

"How are you feeling, Dr. Digby?", Hanssen asked, he just wanted to tell Arthur outright, but he'd learnt that the gentle approach worked best. Arthur just shrugged, he couldn't speak he just couldn't get the words out.

Hanssen was starting to lose his patience and just got straight to it. "Look Dr. Digby we have decided, due to your current condition and state of mind we are going to admit you into hospital." Arthur's head snapped up and a sheer look of terror crossed his face. "Instead of admitting you into a clinic we are going to admit you here, at holby city", Hanssen carried on and all Arthur could do was just stare at him.

Serena could see that Arthur was starting to panic so she stepped in and took over the conversation. "Look Arthur, we're going to admit you as soon as possible and you won't be on the main ward with everyone else, your going be in a side room on your own", Serena said. She noticed that Arthur relaxed a bit when he was told this, but he still didn't calm down. Hanssen and Serena went through everything with Digby, but whether he acknowledged any of it was beyond them.

Fletch and Raf had been busy preparing Arthur's room when Cara walked in, "ooh who's the lucky new patient", she said playfully. Raf sighed and Cara grew concerned, "it's Digby", Raf said. Cara just stared shocked, she couldn't believe it was Arthur. "Why what's happened?", she asked, concerned for her friend. "We think Arthur has some sort of panic disorder/anxiety disorder and recently it's just got too much for him to handle", Fletch said sympathetically and Cara nodded, showing her understanding.

Back on Keller, sacha had just heard the news about Arthur and decided it would be best for Dom to know. He walked up to Dom and said. "Erm, I have some news about Arthur, he's been admitted to holby", sacha said. Dom couldn't hide the look of worry that crept across his face.

"Where is he?", Dom asked. "He's staying on AAU, in a side room, you can go and see him later" sacha replied. "Why can't I go and see him now?", Dom asked again, deeply concerned for his friend. "When you've finished your shift and anyways Serena wants to get him settled", sacha said and walked off.

Serena was walking with a shaky Arthur down the corridor to his room. They'd managed to get him some spare clothes, a t-shirt and joggers, but that didn't seem to change anything for Arthur. As they arrived at the room, Fletch was already inside waiting and are Arthur nervously followed Serena in.

She gestured for Arthur to sit down on the bed, while her and Fletch went outside to talk. "How's he doing?", Fletch asked looking at Arthur through the door window. "I don't know", Serena replied. "I've booked him a psych assessment for tomorrow, so can you try and keep him calm tonight?" Fletch nodded, "yeah, course. Do you know what time they're coming tomorrow?"

"10am, I think that's when appointment is", she said, "just keep an eye on him." Fletch nodded and Serena walked away. He turned and looked at Arthur who was still sitting uncomfortably on the bed. He decided to go in and get him sorted.

"Alright you, I'm just gonna go and get you a meal sheet and then we'll get you settled", Fletch said and Arthur just nodded slowly. Fletch could tell this was gonna be a hard stay for Arthur.

 **Thank you for reading, please review :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed, it means a lot and the me smile. Also thank you to everyone who has followed/added to their favourites.**

 **I am also so sorry for the delay in updating, I've been super busy and I also got a bit stuck with what to write so I hope this is ok :)**

 **I don't own holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 6:

It was 10pm and the ward was quiet. Nearly everyone was asleep, the only sound was the sound of the doctors and nurses walking around. Arthur wasn't asleep, he was just sitting up in his bed trying to piece together the reasons why he was, where he was.

Arthur didn't even realise how bad he had got and even now he still didn't see it. His head was spinning with thoughts, questions but unfortunately no answers. For Arthur, the worst part about this was all of his colleagues seeing him.

His breathing started to quicken and as soon as Arthur noticed he tensed, started to panic, thoughts rushing round his head, most of them were praying that no one would find him.

His hands gripped the sheets, he could feel his chest getting tighter and he was starting to sweat. He knew that any second Fletch would walk in.

As Fletch was walking past Arthur's room he could hear noises coming from inside, so he went to have a look; when he got there Fletch was glad he did. Arthur was sitting on the bed having a panic attack and Fletch jumped straight into action. "Right Digby, I need you to breath for me", he said walking round to the other side of the bed and putting his arms on Arthur's shoulders.

"Look at me Arthur, look at me", he said trying to grab Arthur's attention. It sort of worked, but Fletch needed to try harder. "Right Digby, breath with me ready, in and out, in and out", as Fletch said this he could feel Arthur's tense body start to relax and he loosened his grip on the sheets.

Fletch carried on breathing with Arthur until he had calmed down. Arthur sat back in his bed and his head crashed down on the pillow. He sighed, Fletch was busy writing down what happened in his notes. "So how often do have them?", Fletch asked as he put the folder back on the end of the bed. "I don't know", replied Arthur, "3 or 4 times a week."

Fletch made a mental note of this and he was going to tell Raf in the morning. "If it helps I know Dom's coming to see you tomorrow", Fletch said except he instantly regretted saying it when he seen Arthur's face. "But you don't have to see him if you don't want to", he added and he seen Arthur relax.

"Look, why don't you try and get some sleep, it'll do you some good", Fletch said, patting Arthur on the back and leaving the room. Arthur lay back down and Fletch watched through the window, concerned for Arthur.

6am rolled around, and that meant Fletch's shift was over. As he gathered his things in the locker room, Raf walked in and Fletch knew he had to tell him. "Alright, how's Arthur been?", Raf asked and Fletch just sighed. "He had a bad night, had a panic attack at about 10. I managed to calm him down but I'm pretty sure he's still in a bad way." Raf nodded, "I'll see how he is later, you get off home", Raf said and smiled as Fletch walked past him.

"How you feeling?", Raf asked Arthur as he looked through his notes. Arthur just shrugged and Raf put the notes down. "Look I don't want you to panic but you're going to be having someone come in and talk to you", Raf said, he noticed Arthur start to panic and his body tense. Raf walked over and sat by Arthur.

"It's nothing serious, it's just to find out what's going on", Raf said reassuringly and Arthur just nodded. "They're going to be hear at 10 so you've got a few hours to rest okay", Raf said checking that Arthur was ok and left the room. Leaving Arthur to nothing but his thoughts.

4 hours later, Arthur could see Raf and the man who had come to talk to him outside. Arthur knew that it was a psych assessment and he was constantly telling himself to stay calm. As the man and Raf entered the room Arthur knew it was make or break. "Arthur this is Dr. Parkhill", Raf said, introducing the man to Arthur.

The Dr smiled and took a seat next to Arthur. "I'll leave you to it, any problems just give me a shout", Raf said, shooting Arthur a 'good luck smile' and left the room. This left Arthur sitting in a room with a man he really didn't want to talk too.

"So Arthur, how have you been?", Dr. Parkhill asked, carefully selecting his words. He wanted to find out what was going on inside his head, but on the other hand he didn't want to force him or put pressure on him.

"Fine", Arthur replied, looking down at the sheets. "How have things been lately?", the doctor asked, as he observed Arthur's body language. He was tense, almost shaking, he seemed to be sweating and trying to keep his eyes on the sheets and nothing else. "I heard about what happened last night", Dr. Parkhill tried again but he had no luck. Arthur didn't respond, he just looked down at the sheets.

"Right Arthur, I don't think we're getting anywhere today so I'm going to arrange another appointment, hopefully when you're much calmer", the Dr said as he stood up. "But if you do need me, please don't hesitate to contact me", he said as he walked out of the room.

As soon as he had left Arthur buried his head into his pillow and cried. He whole life was a mess and now there was no way he could get out of it.

 **Thank you so much for reading, please review I would love to know if you're enjoying this :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am SO sorry for the delay in updating, I've been super busy so to make for up it there will be 2 chapters posted today. Thank you guest for your review, it made my day and thank you to Nherdson for following/favourite it means a lot.**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 7:

An hour later and Arthur was just sat on his bed staring into space. The sheet was the floor, and he was only wearing tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt. He knew that Raf had been walking past and checking on him, not coming into the room but looking through the window to check that Arthur wasn't doing anything 'stupid'.

He began to think about Dom and what he was doing, probably on Keller saving people's lives. Then he thought about Zosia and how she was getting on, Arthur wondered whether she even knew that he was in Holby.

His thoughts then turned to Mr. Hanssen and what he thought. He probably right Arthur was an idiot, an idiot that couldn't cope with being a doctor, had panic attacks left, right and centre, crumbled when he was under pressure and reached such a low point that he had to self-medicate.

Just before Arthur's thoughts got too deep, he heard a knock at his door. As Arthur looked up, he realised who it was at the door. It was Dominic. He gestured for him to come in, and when he did, Dom smiled sympathetically. As soon as Dom sat down, Arthur for the the first time since he had been admitted, relaxed.

"So how have you been?", Dom asked knowing it was a stupid question but he couldn't think of anything else to say. Arthur nodded slowly, "yeah, I've been good." Dom sighed, "I heard about what happened with the psychologist", Dom said cautiously and he noticed the way Arthur tensed when he said this.

"Look Arthur, I know you don't want any help and I know you don't like talking about your feelings, but we're here to help. We all want you to get better and just come back to work, we just want the old Arthur back", Dom finished, he looked at Arthur who he could tell was close to tears.

"It's just hard, Dom", Arthur began, "I just can't control it and then when someone says do you want to talk about it, no of course I don't!" Dom looked at Arthur sympathetically and sighed. "You will get through this and we're all here to support you", Dom said. "Now look I need to get back to work, but if you really need me, I'll come", Dom said getting up and walking out of the room leaving Arthur to ponder what he had said.

10 minutes later, Raf was still watching Arthur through the window. As soon as he'd seen Dominic leave, he checked on the Arthur then seeing the state of him decided to just watch him. Raf was worried, Arthur was closed up, he wouldn't talk or listen and Raf had never seen him like this before. He just hoped that over time, Arthur would get better.

Arthur sat in his room, thinking about what Dom had said. He was right, Arthur would get through this but he's got to stop pushing people away. Arthur had just lost control and he didn't know how to get back that control.

Dom arrived back on Keller, except he was still thinking about Arthur. He was worried for him, he just wasn't Arthur and that's what scared Dom. Would they ever get the real Arthur back?

Arthur was still sat in his bed and he hadn't moved since he was admitted. He could see Raf still checking on him through the window, but he didn't care. It's not like his life could any worse, but Arthur couldn't see how it could get better. It was like he was trapped in on going cycle that wasn't going to stop. He was giving up and there was nothing anyone could say or do that was going to change his mind.

 **Thank you for reading, please review I would to know love to know if you're enjoying this :)**

 **The next chapter will be up today, so see you next chapter :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to everyone who had read this and a massive thank you to . .brothers for reviewing, it made my day and I'm so glad you enjoy this story.**

 **TRIGGER: this chapter includes mentions of self-harm and blood, if you feel may be affected please don't feel like you have to read this.**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 8:

It was 6pm and that meant evening on the ward. Raf had gone home, much to Arthur's relief, however this meant that Fletch was now working. Arthur sat and stared at the full plate of food in front of him, he didn't feel like eating so instead he just played around with the food. When Fletch walked past he noticed this, and decide to go in.

"Are you gonna eat that?", he asked walking into Arthur's room. Arthur just shrugged. Fletch sighed and sat down on Arthur's bed. "You've got to eat mate, keep your strengths up." Arthur sighed, "I'm just not hungry", he said hoping Fletch would just leave him alone. "Look do you want me to go downstairs and get you something else to eat?", Fletch asked hoping to avoid another confrontation. Arthur nodded and Fletch stood up. "Don't move", he said walking out of Arthur's room.

As soon Fletch left the room, Arthur got off his bed and went over to the window to see if anyone was there. Nobody was, which meant that he could get out of his room. Carefully opening the door, he had to be careful that Cara and Morven didn't see him, because if they did then he was in trouble.

Sneaking round the back of them, Arthur managed to back out of AAU and into the corridor. Once he'd gotten out, he leaned back against the wall figuring out what he was going to do next. He thought about going to Dom or Zosia but then realised that was a bad idea, so he settled on walking down to the rooms that were out of use as no one would think to look there.

As he wondered down the corridor, Arthur was constantly on the lookout for Fletch as he could appear at anytime. Luckily for Arthur, Fletch didn't appear and he made to the empty rooms. When got there Arthur started to wonder around, looking in drawers and just in general being nosy. However when he opened one draw, a thought popped into his head, something he'd never even dream of doing until now.

Inside the draw was a pair of scissors. Arthur's heart was now being fast and he started to sweat as his shaky hand picked up the scissors. He put the scissors against his forearm and pressing down hard, groaning as the cool metal cut into his skin. It was only when Arthur brought the scissors away that he'd realised what he had done.

Blood started to pour rapidly down his arm, and he started to panic. All of his medical training just went out the window and all Arthur could do was stand and stare at his arm. He began to feel light headed and his vision started to blurry, then before he knew it, Arthur had collapsed in an unused medical room that nobody used.

Fletch walked back into AAU, with nothing for Arthur. The canteen wasn't serving hot food, so that meant Arthur would have make do with a sandwich, which is why Fletch was on his way his to ask Arthur which one he wanted. Well he would ask Arthur if he was in his room. Fletch panicked as soon he realised Arthur was gone and raced outside to find Cara.

"Have you seen Arthur?", Fletch asked. Cara just shook her head, "no I thought he was in his room", Cara said now getting worried for Arthur. "Yeah that's what I thought, but now he's gone. Look watch the ward for me, I'll be back as soon as possible!", he shouted already running out of AAU.

Fletch began to run down the corridors, trying to think of where Arthur would be and praying that be hadn't down anything stupid. However little did Fletch know, Arthur had collapsed and was in need of serious medical attention.

 **Thank you for reading, please review and let me know what you think :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much to everyone that had read this, as it now has over 1,000 views.**

 **India-** thank you so much for your review, I'm glad you loved it and here is the next update. :)

 **-** thank you so much for your review, it made my day! Yes, it part of the autumn trailer that really excited me and that's sort of where this story came from :) xxx

 **. .brothers-** again thank you so much for your review, I always love them and your support is appreciated :)

 **TRIGGER- this contains mentions of blood, if feel you may be affected please don't feel like you have to read it.**

Chapter 9:

Fletch began to run down the corridors, trying to think of where Arthur would be and praying that be hadn't down anything stupid. However little did Fletch know, Arthur had collapsed and was in need of serious medical attention.

Sprinting round a corner, nearly knocking over a trolley Fletch knew where he was going to look first. He'd decided to check Darwin and Keller before raising the alarm about Arthur just in case he was actually perfectly fine.

Fletch burst through the doors of Keller, he spotted Dominic talking to his patient so Fletch walked over grabbed his arm and pulled him away. "Have you seen Digby?", Fletch asked praying that Arthur had been to see Dom. However the look on Dom's face told Fletch otherwise.

"What", Dominic replied still confused by the situation. Fletch sighed, "Arthur has gone missing and I don't know where he is. I was hoping he was with you and know I'm going to Zosia to see if he's been there", he explained and Dom's face turned to pure worry. "Well I'm coming with you", Dom said as he put his patient notes down on the side and ran after Fletch.

The two bolted down the corridors, both desperate to find Arthur. They reached Darwin and barged through the doors, earning them confused looks from patients. "There she is!", Dom shouted pointing at Zosia. The pair ran over, interrupting her conversation.

"Zosia have you seen Arthur?", Dom asked gasping for breath. "No I haven't and what's going on?", Zosia asked trying to work out why they barged into Darwin looking for Arthur. "He's gone missing and we need to find him", Fletch said and Zosia began to worry. "I don't understand, what's happened?", Zosia asked.

Then it dawned on Fletch and Dom: Zosia didn't know what had happened to Arthur. "Right Zosia there's no easy way of saying this, but a few days ago Arthur was admitted to Holby for an anxiety disorder. He's been staying in a side room on AAU and now he's gone missing", Dom said as Zosia stood there processing the information. "We need to find him then", she said already making her way out, as Dom and Fletch were right behind her.

"Right have you checked reception?", Zosia asked and Fletch shook his head. "I'll check there then", Zosia said, "you two check all the spare rooms." Dom and Fletch both nodded and started checking them. As Dom checked in one, he froze on the spot when he saw what was on he floor. On the floor in front of him was Arthur, unconscious with blood running from a deep cut on his arm.

"Fletch!", Dom screamed and Fletch sprinted into the room, then looked down in horror at Arthur on the floor. "Right we need to stop the bleeding and get him back down to AAU", Fletch said grabbing a cloth from the side and putting pressure on Arthur's wound. "Arthur, Arthur can hear me?", asked Dom as he checked over Arthur looking for any more injuries.

As Dom was doing this Zosia burst through the doors. "What's happened?", she asked looking down at the two men trying to treat Arthur. "Zosia get a trolley from out there will ya", Fletch instructed and Zosia immediately went out into the corridor and got one. "Right I'm gonna get his arms and I want you to get his legs", Fletch told Dominic who nodded, more worried about Arthur than anything else. "Ready one, two, three", Fletch said as he and Dom lifted Arthur onto the trolley that Zosia had just brought in.

The three of them wheeled Arthur down the corridors without caring for anyone else. They rushed into AAU, where Raf who had just started his shift seen them. "What happened?", he asked as they parked the bed and starting treating Arthur. When Raf had arrived he'd noticed that Arthur was missing but he didn't say anything just in case there was a reasonable explanation, now he wished he did.

"Right we need to stop the bleeding and by the looks of it we're going to have to stitch it", Zosia said as Dom and Raf set up the heart rate and blood pressure monitors, and Fletch kept pressure on the wound. As they were doing this Arthur began to wake up, he tried to wave his arms about but then he panicked when he couldn't move his right arm because Fletch had hold of it.

"Arthur, Arthur it's alright mate", Fletch said as Arthur looked up from where he was lying on the bed. "Arthur listen we found you collapsed on the floor with a injury to your arm, so we're going to treat that now", Dom said gutted that he was having to treat Arthur, one of his closest friends, for an injury that was almost certainly self inflicted.

"Arthur it's Zosia, I need to ask you, did you do this your arm?", she asked trying to un pick the situation that Arthur had get himself into. "Arthur your not in any trouble, we just want to know what happened", Raf said, he too just wanted to help Arthur.

Arthur was confused, scared, nervous and anxious all at the time. He was trying to work out why he lying in a hospital bed surrounded by his colleagues; he couldn't cope with them all asking questions. Arthur had to get out there, he was feeling claustrophobic, the walls were closing in, Zosia wouldn't stop asking questions and Fletch was still putting pressure on his arm.

He felt his breathing quicken and his chest was getting tighter. He had to get out. Arthur sat up breathing fast and looking round for an escape while Fletch was trying to get him lying back down. "Arthur, Arthur mate just lie down yeah", Fletch said knowing that Arthur was about to have a panic attack. Arthur tried to push against Fletch but then someone grabbed his shoulders to stop him from leaving.

"Please get off me, get off!", Arthur pleaded through to short and quick breaths. His vision was starting to blur and he felt light headed, he felt like he was going to collapse. "Arthur look at me, Arthur just calm down", Fletch said looking at a panic stricken Arthur. "Arthur can you just relax for me", Dom said joining Fletch in the attempt to calm Arthur down, except it didn't work.

Arthur's breathing didn't slow down and his head began to hurt. He started swaying and felt someone hold him and before he knew it, Arthur collapsed in Fletch's arms.

 **Thank you so much for reading, please review I would love to know what you think. :)**

 **The next update for this will be Friday, because I am going to update my stories every Monday and Friday, so it will start this Friday.**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you so much to , . .brothers and LudoJudo for your reviews. Every time a read them they make me smile and I love that you are all enjoying this story, it means a lot :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 10:

Arthur woke up the to blinding light and the sound of machines beeping, he looked to his right and groaned when he saw Fletch sitting there. "Wakey wakey", Fletch said in a jokey voice except Arthur didn't find it funny. "What are you doing here?", Arthur croaked out. "Well after the little scare you gave us earlier, I'm here to make sure nothing bad happens", Fletch said.

Arthur was trying to work out what Fletch meant, but then it clicked and Arthur remembered everything. He mentally cursed himself at what had happened, how could he of been caught? However Arthur knew that now, no one would leave him alone. They would watch him, make him feel claustrophobic and constantly ask him questions. Arthur didn't know how he was doing to cope.

"Where's Dom and Zosia?", Arthur asked. "Oh they got called away had to go back and treat some patients", Fletch replied hoping Arthur would believe him. In actual fact, Dom and Zosia were in Mr. Hanssen's office telling him and Serena everything that had happened. "You try and get some rest mate", Fletch said and Arthur moaned. "How can I get some rest when I've got you watching me." Fletch sighed and carried on reading his newspaper.

"So we've heard Mr. Fletcher's version of events, now we need yours", Mr Hanssen said looking at Dom and Zosia. "Dr. Copeland you go first." Dom coughed and began. "Fletch came into Keller and asked me if I'd seen Arthur. I said no and then Fletch told me that Arthur had gone missing. We then left the ward and went to check Darwin to ask Zosia if he was there. She said no so we left and went to look for him, Zosia checked reception and I checked one of the spare rooms. That's where I found Arthur. I called in Fletch, then Zosia returned and she got a trolley, then the rest you all know", Dom said trying to keep himself composed.

"Thank you Dr. Copeland, you can go", Serena said as Dominic stood up and left, leaving Zosia to tell her story. "Miss March, would you like to tell us your account." Zosia nodded and began to speak.

"Dom and Fletch came into Darwin asking me if I knew where Arthur was. I said no because I hadn't seen him, so we all left and searched for him. As Dom said I checked reception while him ans Fletch checked the spare rooms. When I came back I found Arthur on the floor unconscious with a lot of blood coming from his arm, as Fletch and Dom tried to treat him. I got the trolley and then the rest you know", she said pretty pleased with her account of the event.

"Thank you Miss March, we will be sure to get back to you shortly", Serena said as Zosia left the room. She sighed and rubbed her head in her hands. "What do you think?", Mr. Hanssen asked her. "I know at heart he's a good doctor and at the minute he's a good doctor going through a tough time", she said. "What about you?", she asked Mr. Hanssen. "I agree, I don't want o sack him because then it looks like we have given up on him but at the same he's in a vulnerable state", he pointed out and Serena couldn't deny that.

"When is his next session with the psychologist?", Mr Hanssen asked. "In two days time", Serena said, "and at the minute we've got somebody watching him all the time." Hanssen nodded processing the information. "I want to move his session to this afternoon and can we stick to someone watching him, I don't care whether that's someone sitting in with him or keeping an eye on him through the window", he said and Serena nodded before walking out the door.

Raf walked past Arthur's room and stopped at the window signalling for Fletch to come out. Fletch put his newspaper down and walked out to talk to Raf. "How is he?", Raf asked and Fletch sighed. "Not good. He hates the idea of someone sitting in with him and I haven't even told him that Hanssen and Serena know because I don't know how he would react." Raf understood where Fletch was coming from.

"Look why don't you take a break and I'll sit in with him", Raf suggested, "maybe I could tell him about Serena Hanssen." Fletch nodded, "cheers mate", he said before walking off to get a coffee. Raf sighed pushing open the door, knowing that breaking the news to Arthur wasn't going to be easy.

Arthur woke up around 30 minutes later and was surprised to see Raf sitting to his right and not Fletch. He sat up and his stomach groaned. Raf smiled, "looks like you need some food." Arthur just nodded and lay back down, then before he knew it Raf had placed a sandwich and a drink in front of him.

20 minutes later and Arthur still hadn't touched the sandwich or the drink. "You've got to eat that, otherwise you're going to make yourself ill", Raf said and he thought he should break the news to Arthur be for Serena or Hanssen came to speak to him. "Look Arthur, I think you should know something", Raf said and Arthur sighed, "what?"

"Serena and Hanssen know exactly what's happened", Raf said and at these words Arthur began to panic. He would of almost certainly of lost his job and of been written off as someone who couldn't cope. Someone who was vulnerable, who was weak and someone who was so stupid that he self harmed.

Raf could see that Arthur was starting to panic so he decided to intervene. Arthur I need you to breath for me yeah, just breath, nice deep breaths", Raf said and he looked Arthur in the eyes and held Arthur's hand close to his chest. "Just breath like I am, deep breaths. No Arthur look at me, look at me, Arthur."

Arthur's body was shaking, he was scared, anxious, nervous, terrified, angry, annoyed upset, lots of different emotions that he didn't know how to deal with. The room was getting smaller, his thoughts were getting louder, his chest was getting tighter and all Arthur wanted to do was scream. He wanted to scream so loud that the windows cracked. Except he couldn't, all he could do was panic.

His vision was starting to blur and Raf was just a figure. Arthur had had enough. He ripped out his IV still breathing heavily and stumbling all over, his legs felt like they were going to give way. "Arthur no!", Raf shouted as he tried to stop Arthur. "Fletch!", he shouted and Fletch burst in, immediately rushing over to Arthur as tried to atop him was doing as more damage.

Fletch managed to get a hold of a struggling Arthur as Raf got his right arm, and Fletch had his left arm. Then Arthur did something totally unexpected, he broke down. He broke in Fletch's arms and cried. All Fletch could was hold him as Raf keeled down to comfort Arthur. Little did they know that Serena was watching the whole thing.

 **I'm so sorry for this kinda late update, I kinda forgot it was friday. Whoops!**

 **Thank you for reading an please review I would love to hear your thoughts :)**

 **The next update will be either Monday or Tuesday, but definitely by Tuesday :)**

 **See you next chapter:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you so much to LudoJudo, . .brothers and for reviewing. I love reading them all and also thank you to for giving me a very interesting idea :)**

 **I don't own holby city all right a go to the BBC**

Chapter 11:

Fletch managed to get a hold of a struggling Arthur as Raf had his right arm, and Fletch had his left arm. Then Arthur did something totally unexpected, he broke down. He broke in Fletch's arms and cried. All Fletch could was hold him as Raf keeled down to comfort Arthur. Little did they know that Serena was watching the whole thing.

Serena watched on as Arthur broke down. She couldn't believe how bad Arthur had got and in a way she felt guilty, guilty because she should of noticed that something was wrong. However she didn't and Arthur had reached breaking point, she didn't know how to help him.

She watched Fletch console Arthur and comfort him while Raf tried to talk to him. Except it looked like he wasn't having much luck. She thought about sending Arthur to a clinic where he could get specialist help, but then remembered how fragile Arthur was. She knew it would be best if he stayed at Holby. She decided to let Raf and Fletch sort out the situation but she knew that Arthur's battle was far from over.

Fletch and Raf didn't know what to do. Arthur was breaking down in Fletch's arms and all they could was watch. "It's alright mate", Fletch said trying to calm Arthur down. He was still in shock at what had just happened. "Look Arthur why don't you sit on the bed and we can sort this out", Raf suggested but Arthur didn't respond.

In fact he had calmed down now, but he just sat there on the floor leaning against Fletch. He seemed to just be staring into space and not listening to anything anyone said. "Arthur", Raf said taping his shoulder, except he still got no response. Fletch sighed, he was still holding Arthur who wasn't talking, he wasn't even moving.

"We need to move him, he can't stay on the floor forever", Raf said and Fletch sighed. "Yes I know that, but how are we supposed to move him on to the bed?", Fletch asked. Although as he looked down he realised Arthur was now asleep. "I guess we'll have to lift him", Fletch said and Raf agreed. Raf got Arthur's legs and Fletch got his arms. As they lifted him up, they were both shocked by how light Arthur was. Yes he was always on the thin side, but not like this.

Once Arthur was on the bed Fletch and Raf started to set up the machines. "Do do you think we should let Zosia and Dom know what's happened?", Raf asked and Fletch hesitated. "Yeah, go on, I'll manage here", Fletch said ans Raf walked off to find Dom and Zosia.

As Raf arrived on Keller he couldn't spot Dom. He thought about going over and asking Sacha but then he spotted Dom ans walked over to him. "Dom, erm, can I have a word?", Raf asked and Dom nodded walking over to one side. "What's wrong, is it Arthur?", Dom asked and Raf nodded. "Yeah, he's just had a 'semi' breakdown and I was wondering whether you could convince him to speak to the psychologist again?", Raf asked and Dom sighed.

"You know how that went last time, I don't want to put him through it again", Dom and Raf nodded. "Yes I understand, but this is for Arthur's sake. Please Dom", Raf pleaded and Dom nodded. "Okay, okay. My shift finishes in an hour so I'll be along as soon as I can", Dom said and Raf smiled before walking off the find Zosia.

"Arthur, Arthur", Fletch said. He noticed Arthur start to stir and he wanted to get him awake. Arthur squinted his eyes and groaned as he came face to face with Fletch. "Alright mate, I'm not that bad", Fletch joked but Arthur didn't find it funny. "What happened?", asked Arthur who was still sleepy.

Fletch sighed. "Look Arthur you seemed to of had a bit of a breakdown", Fletch said he braced himself for Arthur's reaction. Arthur didn't know what Fletch meant, but it all came flooding back to him. He could feel himself start to panic, _no, Fletch and Raf couldn't of seen him like that._ Fletch could see that Arthur was beginning to panic, so he stepped in straight away to stop one.

"Right I need you to take deep breaths", Fletch said breathing slowly so Arthur could copy him. After a about a minute, Fletch relaxed as Arthur seemed to calm down and not have a panic attack. "Brilliant" Fletch said, "now why don't you try and get some rest", he said before he walked out of the room.

Raf walked into Darwin and instantly found Zosia. "Zosia could I have a word please?", Raf asked and Zosia nodded, not quite knowing what it was about. "Erm I was wondering if you would be able to have a word with Arthur about another session with the psychologist. I was hoping you might be able to use your experience to convince him to get help?", Raf asked and Zosia nodded. "Yeah, I'll see what I can do", she waking away smiling.

As Raf walked out of Darwin, he smiled. He smiled because now Arthur might actually have a chance of recovering, might.

 **Thank so much for reading, please review.**

 **I know this was a bit fillerish but on Friday is Arthur's second session with the psychologist so that should be good :)**

 **Also holby city this week and last week was good, glad that Arthur's back :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you again for all the reviews, , . .brothers and LudoJudo I can't tell how much your support means :)**

 **I don't own holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 12:

Arthur woke up as the bright light blinded him. He squinted and when he opened his eyes fully his realised Dom was sitting next to him, again. "Hello, again", Dom said and Arthur sighed. "Don't sigh", Dom said, "it's about time you listened to what other people had to say."

"What's this about Dom?", Arthur asked, still sounding sleepy. "This is about you and your next session with the psychologist, which is tomorrow morning", Dom said and Arthur's reaction was all he needed to tell him this was going to be a battle. "I've told you Dom, I don't need to talk to anyone", Arthur said, he wished that people would just leave him alone.

"I think you do", Dom said, expressing his thoughts. "I think it would help Digby, as hard as it's going to be for you, you have to let other people have that control", Dom said. As much as it pained him to see Arthur go through this Dom knew he had to otherwise there was no way he was going to be able to recover. "Look I need to go but think about what I need", Dom said standing up and shooting Arthur an encouraging smile before walking out.

Arthur sighed. He wanted to get better, honestly he did but it was like he was trapped in a never ending cycle. He couldn't find the exit, he couldn't escape. It was like every time he couldn't escape in his head, he would just panic on the outside. He didn't know how to escape it, he didn't know how to leave it. He didn't know it where started, or where it ended. Arthur just didn't know.

"How was he?", Fletch asked Dom as he came from Arthur's room. Raf was busy in surgery so Fletch said he'd check up on Arthur. "I don't know", replied Dom, rubbing his face with his hands. "Look I need to go, I'll see you later", Dom said walking off back to Keller.

Later on Zosia had finished her shift, she was about to leave when she remembered she had to go and see Arthur. Walking through the corridors she made her to AAU. As she arrived Zosia walked past Fletch. He gave her a reassuring smile, and she smiled back before walking in.

As she walked in Zosia saw Arthur instantly close his eyes, he was pretending to be asleep. Zosia sighed and sat down next to him. "I know you're awake, so there is no point in pretending that you're asleep", she said and Arthur opened eyes. "What do you want?", he asked. Dom had been in earlier, wasn't that already enough.

"I know how hard it is", Zosia said and Arthur shot her a confused look. "With my bi-polar", Zosia said and Arthur nodded. "At first I didn't really want help, but then when I got it, it really did help", she explained. "But I haven't got bi-polar", Arthur said. "Yes, but you have a mental health condition", she said and Arthur shuffled uncomfortably.

"Look Arthur, I don't want to pressure you into anything because I know bad that is. But if you don't accept the help that is being given to you, it'll will just get worse, trust me", she said placing her hand on Arthur's hand.

She stood up and walked out, hoping that Arthur had listened to what she'd said. She walked past Fletch and smiled, then made her way out of Holby.

The next morning Raf walked in to check on Arthur. "Morning", he said quite cheerfully as Arthur sat on top of his covers. "I just thought you should know that at 9:30, you have a another session with the psychologist", Raf said and then he quickly walked out before Arthur could question him any further.

Arthur lay back and let his head fall against his pillow. He was dreading it. They would make him talk about what was going on inside his head, the cycle he couldn't escape. He wasn't going to talk, he knew that they would just ask him more questions if he did. But then he thought about what Dom and Zosia had said to him, it made think and thinking wasn't good.

It was like Arthur had an on going battle in his head, being told two different things at the same time. It was complicated, confusing, frustrating but then panicky at the same time. Deep down Arthur knew he needed help, he just didn't know how to ask for it.

9:30 rolled around and Arthur would've liked to have said he was ready, mentally, but he wasn't. He could see through the window Raf walking down with Dr. Parkhill. Arthur propped himself up, and braced himself. Raf opened the door and gestured for Dr. Parkhill to follow. However instead of Dr. Parkhill sitting down, like Arthur expected him to, he stayed standing.

"Arthur instead of talking in here, we're going to go along to a more private room", Dr. Parkhill said and and Arthur nodded. He was trying to out work why they were going to a different room, but he guessed he'd just find out. He got himself up off his bed and followed the doctor out of he room.

As they walked through AAU, Arthur was actually surprised that they leaving and no had no clue where they were going. They turned a corner and Arthur looked behind him to find that Raf had gone. Arthur began to worry, he didn't know this man. He followed him into a room and the doctor gestured for Arthur to sit down.

As Arthur sat down he realised that another man was sitting in the room who Dr. Parkhill sat down next to. "Arthur this is Ben Harding, he's an old friend of mine and a councillor", the doctor explained, Ben smiled at Arthur but Arthur just nodded. "He's going to be in some of our sessions and you might have one on one sessions with him", Dr. Parkhill went on to explain.

"Hello Arthur", Ben said and Arthur just sat there not even acknowledging him. "Right then Arthur, today I would like to talk to you and try and find out where your anxiety may come from", Dr. Parkhill said taking a piece of paper out of a file. "And Dr. Fletcher and Mr. Di Luca have informed me about what happened a few days ago", he said. At this Arthur froze.

He stopped playing the strings on the his jogger bottoms and froze. Ben who had been watching him closely, noticed this and leaned forward in chiar. Arthur could feel Ben's eyes on him and he started to sweat. His began to get tighter, he started to sweat. The only thought going through his mind was; _please don't let me have a panic attack._

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated :)**

 **Next update should be Monday, so see you next chapter :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Again thank you so much to , LudoJudo and . .brothers for reviewing. I love that you enjoy this story and I love reading your reviews :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 13:

He stopped playing the strings on the his jogger bottoms and froze. Ben who had been watching him closely, noticed this and leaned forward in chiar. Arthur could feel Ben's eyes on him and he started to sweat. His began to get tighter, he started to sweat. The only thought going through his mind was; _please don't let me have a panic attack._

"Arthur, you alright?", Ben asked. He'd been watching Arthur closely for any instant or unusual reactions and when Dr. Parkhill had mentioned the incident from a few days ago, Arthur's body language changed instantly. From what Ben could tell, it looked like Arthur was about to have a panic attack.

When Ben had said Arthur's name, Dr. Parkhill had looked up to find Arthur breathing funny and trembling. Dr. Parkhill decided to take a back seat and see how Arthur responded to Ben because from what he'd heard, Arthur wasn't the best at responding and Dr. Parkhill wanted to see what they meant.

Arthur couldn't believe it, the one place he never wanted to have a panic attack. He was conscious that Ben and Dr. Parkhill were watching him and that didn't help. He tried to control his breathing and take deep breaths. Except he couldn't do it and he felt himself become more and more frustrated by the second.

Ben had noticed this too and decided it was time to take action. "Arhur do you want to go and take a minute outside?", Ben asked thinking that if Arthur could get out of the room, he might be able to calm himself down. Arthur nodded and made his way out the room, still feeling unsteady.

As soon as Arthur got out of the room he leaned against the wall and started to breathe heavily and quickly. His legs were trembling and his body was shaking. All Arthur wanted to do was come out of this panic attack. His head was spinning and he was also conscious that people were walking past and Ben could walk out at any second. Unfortunately for Arthur he did.

Ben decided to go out and check on Arthur, to check that he was okay and that he hadn't ran off. "You good Arthur?", he asked as he went out the room. Arthur nodded, "yeah", he replied through deep breaths. "Right well we can't put this off any longer, so after you", Ben said opening the door for a reluctant Arthur who walked in.

"Right then Arthur, where we're we", Dr. Parkhill said. "Right Arthur recently how have you been feeling?", he asked and Arthur stiffened. "Fine", Arthur replied trying to move on and get it over and done with. "Okay, how do feel generally. Are you anxious, nervous, worried, stressed, calm or relaxed?", Dr. Parkhill asked as Ben still continued to observe.

Arthur shrugged, "I don't know." Dr. Parkhill sighed, clearly he was running into a brick wall. "Right then, how about your eating habits?", he asked hoping he might get and answer. "What do you mean?", Arthur asked. "Well Dr, Fletcher and Mr. Di Luca have informed me that you don't seem to eat and that you seem very thin and light for someone of your height", Dr. Parkhill said and Ben watched Arthur's body tense up.

"I eat fine", Arthur said, this time more defensive and Ben and Dr. Parkhill both took a note of this. "Look Arthur, you've already got a lot going on and not eating is just going to add to your problems. We don't want that and I'm sure you don't either", Ben added, trying to get through to Arthur.

"I think that's it for today", Dr. Parkhill said as they were getting nowhere. "I'll walk back with you", Ben said to Arthur as they both stood up and left. As they were walking down the corridor Arthur couldn't believe that he was being escorted back to AUU, I mean did they not trust him to walk down some corridors.

As Arthur walked into AAU Ben said goodbye and when we was walking to his room Raf shot him a smile, but Arthur just ignored it. Instead he went inside his room, sat on his bed and cursed himself; he cursed himself for being so stupid. He almost had a full blown panic attack in front of Ben and Dr. Parkhill, Arthur didn't dare want to know what they thought about him now.

Ben made his way back through the corridors and back to where Dr. Parkhill was. He was worried about Arthur, something just didn't seem right. It was like Arthur was holding something back, but he'd held it so far back that there was no way of getting it out of him.

"What do you think then?", Dr. Parkhill asked Ben. "I think he's holding something back, something that he doesn't want us to know. What about you?", Ben asked. "I think he's spiralling out of control", Dr. Parkhill said.

 **Thank you for reading, please review :)**

 **Next update should be Friday, so see you next chapter :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Again I can only say thank you for the reviews I get for this story. , LudoJudo and . .brothers have no idea how much your support means and I always love reading your reviews, they make my day :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 14:

Arthur sat on his bed and thought. He thought about his life, his job, his childhood and his family and he noticed there was one thing always there in all the memories he remembered: pressure. The pressure throughout his life to be the best. At school, it was the pressure from his family and the teachers; his job, the pressure from his colleagues and ultimately the pressure he puts on himself, especially after winning junior doctor of the year.

The pressure, was in a way to much for him. He was spiralling out of control which meant that any bit of control he could have, Arthur would grip on to it no matter what. He was at a loss, people were saying 'we're trying to help you' except Arthur didn't want their help. Well that wasn't all true.

It wasn't that Arthur didn't want their help, it was he didn't know how to ask for it. He didn't want to tell people what was really going on, like the only reason he wasn't eating property was because it was the only thing he could control. He didn't want to tell someone what was going on inside his head, he didn't what to look weak; especially in front of his colleagues.

For Arthur it was just a waiting game, waiting for him to truly breakdown. It seemed like everyone else was waiting for that too, well in Arthur's eyes anyways. What he didn't know was that everyone else was worried about him.

"You alright?", Raf asked Fletch as he put his files down on the desk. Fletch was sitting at the desk staring into space, he wasn't blinking, moving or talking. "Hmm, yeah", he replied in a not very convincing tone. "Are you sure?", Raf asked knowing there something Fletch's mind.

"I just can't stop thinking about Arthur", Fletch said rubbing his face with his hands. "I know the feeling", Raf said and Fletch shook his head. "No, I tried talking to him before but it was like he wasn't there. He's just sinking lower and lower; I don't know how much more his body can take", Fletch said with despair in his voice.

"I was speaking to Serena earlier", Raf said. "Oh yeah, what was she saying?", Fletch asked. "That Dr. Parkhill and Ben were worried about Arthur", Raf said and Fletch's heart sunk. "She said that he had to start talking and letting them help him otherwise they'd think about getting him sectioned", Raf said. "Sectioned!", Fletch shouted, appalled by what he had heard.

"Yeah, look I don't know all the details but I think me and you should make an effort to get through to him", Raf said and Fletch nodded. "Your right", Fletch said. Meanwhile Serena and Hanssen were having a conversation with Dr. Parkhill and Ben.

"So what do you think the next steps for Arthur are?", Hanssen asked. He was aware that lately things with Arthur had been going down hill and wanted to sort out what they were going to do next. "It's slow progress with Arthur, slow progress that's all I can say", Dr. Parkhill said.

"I think if we can't get through to him, then he should be sectioned", Dr. Parkhill said quite bluntly. Fair enough he was a psychologist, but he wasn't the most caring of psychologist you would ever meet. He was more about getting to the root of the problem and fixing it rather than take a gentle approach, like Ben, and getting to understand the patient.

"Look, let's not be too hasty. I think he's holding something bad", Ben said. "I think he's hiding something from us, whether that be his anxiety, his eating habits or some sort of family situation I don't know, but I don't think we should give up on him yet", he continued saying and Serena nodded.

"I agree with Ben, I think we should give him a chance. However if it doesn't work, then we rethink our options", Serena said and Hanssen nodded, agreeing with her.

Later on that day Dr. Parkhill and Ben we chatting about what they were going to do for Arthur. "I think Ben, it would be best if you and Arthur just had one on one sessions to see if he opens up to you", Dr. Parkhill said and Ben nodded. "Yeah I can do that, when do you want the first session to be?", Ben asked.

"I'm going to arrange it for tomorrow, I'm also going to get Dr. Fletcher and Mr. Di Luca to have a chat to him before hand to try and get through to him", Dr. Parkhill said again and Ben wrote this information down. "I will also be over seeing his treatment", Dr. Parkhill said and Ben knew what that meant. It meant that Ben would do the sessions with Arthur and Dr. Parkhill would track the progress.

"Well then bring on tomorrow", Ben said before standing up, gathering his things and leaving. He knew that tomorrow was going to be tough.

 **Thank you so much for reading, please review I would love to hear your thoughts :)**

 **Next update should be Monday/Tuesday**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Again thank you so much to LudoJudo, and the tail of two brothers for your reviews. I love reading them and they always make me happy! :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 15:

"Are you gonna go in and speak to him?", Raf asked Fletch. "I thought you were going first?", Fletch asked. Him and Raf had been arguing for around the past hour about who should go and talk to Arthur first. "No we agreed yesterday that you would go first", Raf said smiling and folding his arms. Fletch sighed, "fine I'll go first, it just means he'll be in a bad mood when you speak to him."

"How you doing today then?", Fletch asked Arthur as he sat down next to him. "Fine", Arthur said sitting on the bed with his knees up against his chest. "Good, you know that you've got an appointment later on this morning", Fletch said and Arthur nodded. "How you feeling about it?", Fletch asked and Arthur shrugged.

"Fine", Arthur said again and Fletch sighed. "You've got to let us help you", Fletch said desperate to get through to the young man. Fletch couldn't stand watching Arthur self-destruct, he was a good doctor, a good man but Arthur just didn't see that. "Look Arthur, this morning please try to listen and talk to Ben. It'll help, trust me", Fletch said before standing up and leaving the room.

"How did it go?", Raf asked as Fletch left the room. "Not good", Fletch said sitting down and putting his head on the table. "What did he say?", Raf asked. "Fine", Fletch said and Raf frowned. "Fine?", he asked slightly confused. "That's all he said, fine", Fletch said sounding disappointed. "Right well I guess it's my turn", Raf said walking off. "Good luck!", Fletch shouted, "your gonna need it."

Raf carefully opened the door and saw Arthur lying on the bed with his eyes closed, Arthur was pretending to be asleep. "I know you're awake", Raf said sitting down in the same chair that Fletch sat in. Arthur sighed and sat up. "What do you want?", Arthur asked, clearly annoyed with the fact that Fletch and Raf had visited him within the past hour.

"To talk to you" Raf said and Arthur rolled his eyes. "If this is about what Fletch was talking about, then you can go away", Arthur said and Raf smiled. "I want to know if you have any plans for when you get discharged?", Raf asked and Arthur turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?", Arthur asked, trying to understand why Raf would even ask that. "Because if you work with us then we can help you, and if we can help you then you've a better chance of getting discharged", Raf said. Arthur could see the point but he didn't dare say it.

"I guess", Arthur said. Raf smiled, he hoped that finally, finally they might of just got through to Arthur. "So later on when you see Ben, let him help you, yeah", Raf said and when Arthur nodded Raf stood up and left feeling happy that he might've just got through to Arthur.

Ben sat in his office, going through Arthur's file. He had 10 minutes before there appointment so he wanted to do some investigating before hand. Ben was aware that now most of his time was spent on Arthur, whether it was taking to him, talking about him or looking into his case. It didn't bother him though, Ben was the kind of person who when he knew something was wrong he wouldn't stop until he'd found out what it was and that's what he was doing with Arthur.

As he was reading Ben noticed that Arthur had won 'junior doctor of the year' award and this got him thinking. Maybe part of Arthur's anxiety, stress and worry could have came from all the pressure he was under, Ben quickly made a note of this and picked his folder before going off the find Arthur.

Ben had decided that he was going to speak to Arthur in his room; it was an environment that he was familiar too and would hopefully feel more comfortable in. He made his way through the hospital corridors and walked through the entrance to AAU. He spotted Raf as he walked in who came over to speak to him.

"How is he?", Ben asked interested to know what Raf would say. "Alright I think", Raf said and Ben nodded. "Good, well wish me luck" , Ben said as Raf smiled, before walking into his Arthur's room.

Arthur was on top of the covers with his back resting against the top of the bed and he knees brought up to his chest with his elbows resting on top of them. "Morning", Ben said as he sorted himself out and sat down. Arthur just nodded and said nothing. "How are you today?", Ben asked. "Fine", Arthur said.

"Rigth I don't know if you've been told but these sessions are mainly just going to be me and you", Ben said. At this Arthur sort of relaxed, it wasn't that he didn't like Dr. Parkhill it was just Arthur just didn't feel comfortable with him.

"Now I've read that you won junior doctor of the year award a few years ago", Ben said and Arthur tired to work where he was going. "After you'd won did it put any pressure on you?", Ben asked. Arthur knew he had answer this one carefully, one slip and that was it. "No", Arthur replied, "I was alright with it." Ben nodded and wrote it down.

"What about family, friends or colleagues have they ever pressured you, had high expectations of you?", Ben asked. Arthur shook his head. However truth be told, it was his parents that had always pressured him. Always nagging him to be the best, get the best grades in school, they even practically picked his GCSE's which were supposed to be his choice.

Arthur never saw his parents, hadn't heard from them in years and it wasn't like they'd want to speak to him now. "Right then, Arthur what do you think triggers your anxiety?", Ben asked and all of a sudden Arthur became slightly uncomfortable. "I don't know", Arthur replied trying to fool Ben, but it didn't work.

"Well is your anxiety worse in panicked situations, stressful situations, nervous situations or tense/frustrating situations?", Ben asked and Arthur shrugged. Ben sighed this is where he knew he'd have to fight. Fight a battle against Arthur's thoughts. He decided to change the subject, "when you get discharged do you still want to work here?", Ben asked.

"Yes, I do", Arthur said and Ben nodded, knowing that Arthur talking was better than him not talking at all. "That's great then, isn't it and it gives you a reason to recover doesn't it", Ben said and Arthur nodded. Arthur wasn't really paying attention he was saying the things that Ben would want to hear, so it would be over with quicker.

Unfortunately for Arthur, Ben had been a counsellor for too long to know when someone either wasn't telling the truth or was holding something back. "What are you scared off?", Ben asked. Arthur struggled for an answer, he wasn't expecting Ben to ask anything like this. "Failing, I guess", Arthur said and Ben wrote it down.

"Right that's all for today, I'll check back in tomorrow", Ben said smiling at Arthur. "You did well today", he told Arthur as he approached the door. Arthur nodded and Ben smiled again before leaving and heading back to his office.

Ben sat on his office and thought. He was beginning to piece together bits that explained Arthur's anxiety. Unfortunately there was still so many questions Ben had and he hadn't even had the chance to ask Arthur about his eating, but then Ben didn't want to pressure him.

However today they had made progress, even it was a bit, it was still progress and for Ben that was good enough.

 **Sorry this is a bit late, took me ages to write. Hope you enjoyed and reviews are appreciated :)**

 **Next chapter should be up around the weekend so see you next chapter :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Again thank you so much to , LudoJudo and the tail of two brothers for reviewing. They mean so much and I love reading your ideas.**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 16:

Dom was always worrying about Arthur. He might not show it, but Arthur was always there in the back of his mind. Dom hadn't seen him for at least 3 days and he hadn't really heard from him either. Dom sighed and sat down in the locker room, hoping that no one, like Sacha would walk in.

Dom found it hard to watch one of his closest friends go through what he was going through. Fair enough he'd seen people with anxiety disorders before, but he'd never known somebody personally and that's what bugged him. He didn't know how to help Arthur, all he could was 'support' him in the best way he could.

Dom decided that at the end of his shift he would go down to AAU and see Arthur, just to make sure that he was okay.

Zosia sighed and sat down at the nurse's station. She'd tried to keep herself busy over the last few days, in the hope that the thought of Arthur wouldn't creep it's way to the front of her mind. Somehow though, it always did.

She couldn't stand the thought of Arthur going through the same thing as her. Now yes he was right in saying that he didn't have bi-poplar, but he still had mental health and that's what mattered. Zosia knew the importance of getting help; she couldn't stand watching Arthur press self-destruct.

Raf was worried about Arthur. Really worried. He never seemed to eat, sleep, talk; his eyes were red and had dark bags under them, his face was pale, his body was thin; he generally looked awful.

Arthur was pushing people away, it was obvious. For Raf it was heart breaking to watch Arthur to do that, his good friend. Another thing that annoyed Raf was that fact that no one noticed what Arthur was doing, not one of them picked up that something was wrong with Arthur. Raf just hoped that Arthur could at least try to recover, otherwise they were running out of options.

Fletch had seen people in Arthur's situation before, but he never thought that someone who he knew would be so deeply affected by it. Arthur just wasn't Arthur. No matter how hard they tried to get him to talk it just didn't work, however, Fletch had heard the he'd spoke a bit to Ben which put his mind that ease a bit.

Serena was trying to stay strong but she was finding it hard. Arthur was and probably still was one her best doctors but he was sinking lower and lower everyday. She knew the dangers that Arthur could face. Things like getting sectioned, losing his job, never really getting over this entire ordeal were all things that worried her.

She knew that when Arthur was discharged he would probably want his job back, and Serena could understand that. The problem they had was would Hanssen understand.

Arthur sat in his room, he didn't know what to do anymore. He felt trapped, isolated, nervous, alone and scared. His room was just a room, the only good thing about was that he could watch what went on in AAU. He felt tired, weak, hungry, drained and emotionless but then at the same time he didn't feel any of those things at all.

At the minute Arthur was scared, he was scared of people working their way into the cycle and being trapped. Then it would be his fault because he would of them told them what was going on, Arthur couldn't live with that guilt, as a matter of fact, he wouldn't live with that guilt.

Arthur thought about the other people, them people being his colleagues. Arthur hated the idea that they watched him day in day out, he dreaded what they thought of him. A pathetic excuse for a man or a failure at everything in his life. As Arthur's breathing hitched, his mind started to race.

His thoughts started to twirl, most of them saying don't have a panic attack here, don't have a panic attack here and then the harsh ones came. _They're looking at you. Looking at the mess that you've became. Why would anyone want to help him?_ Before Arthur could stop himself, his breathing quickened without him wanting it to.

Gradually the room started to become smaller and the thought going through Arthur's head was, _I'm going to have a panic attack! I'm going to have a panic attack!_ Alarm bells started ringing in his head. The fact that he was at a hospital meant that someone would find him, they would watch him and they wouldn't leave him alone.

His chest got tighter, his hands starting to get pins and needles. This was the last thing Arthur wanted. He gripped the sheets his shaky hands and tired to breath, slowly. He took deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out. He prayed that it worked.

Outside Fletch was looking at a scan on the computer when he looked to his left into Arthur's room. He saw Arthur almost certainly having a panic attack. Fletch decided to watch to see if Arthur could control this one on his own, he'd just go in at the end to check if he was alright. Fletch watched Arthur's shaky body try to control a panic attack and it looked like it wasn't working. Well Fletch wasn't so sure but Arthur seemed to get frustrated with himself every time he tried to breath.

"You alright?", Raf asked Fletch. He'd noticed that Fletch was vividly staring across the room and when Raf looked over, he realised that Fletch was looking at Arthur. "Shouldn't we go and help him?", Raf asked confused at why Fletch was doing anything. "No", Fletch replied, "I want to see how he copes."

Raf nodded, understanding where Fletch was coming from. He stood there next to Fletch and kept an eye on Arthur. They both watched Arthur, his shaking body, quick breathing and the fact he looked desperate that his panic attack would just stop.

"Can you go and let Ben know about this?", Fletch asked Raf. "What do you want me to tell him?", Raf asked. "Tell him that Arthur's having a panic attack and that he should pop down in 10 minutes", Fletch said. Raf nodded and made his way out of AUU.

Raf made his way quickly through the hospital trying to find Ben as fast as he could. He reached Ben's office and knocked on the door. "Come in!", Ben said and Raf opened the door. "Are you busy, Dr. Harding?", Raf asked and Ben put his pen down. "Not really, why what's happened?", Ben asked knowing that Raf was from AUU and that's where Arthur was.

"Arthur's having a panic attack and we were wondering, would be able to pop down in 10 minutes when he's hopefully calmed down", Raf said. "Yeah okay then", Ben replied and Raf left the room.

As soon as Raf left the room, Ben started to think. He was trying to think what could have brought on Arthur's panic attack. Arthur on a whole was puzzling Ben, it was like as soon as they were getting somewhere, something always got in the way. This made Ben ask more questions, he knew that he'd just broken the ice with Arthur and that he had a long way to swim.

Arthur was frustrated with himself, why couldn't be just get it under control? He was aware that Fletch was watching him and had probably told Ben. This made him feel worse and quite frankly Arthur couldn't remember why he was panicking.

10 minutes had past and Arthur hadn't changed. Fletch and Raf were about to go in when Ben burst in through the doors. "Right then, what's going on?", he asked.

 **Thank you so much for reading, please review :)**

 **Anyone watch last night's Holby city, I loved it and thought Arthur was great :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Again thank you so much to , LudoJudo and the tail of two brothers. Your reviews and ideas constantly help me develop this story, so thank you! :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 17:

10 minutes had past and Arthur hadn't changed. Fletch and Raf were about to go in when Ben burst in through the doors. "Right then, what's going on?", he asked.

"He hasn't calmed down yet so we were about to go in", Fletch said and Ben nodded. "Right nurse Fletcher can you come with me, Mr. Di Luca can you go and tell Miss Campbell what has happened then can you come back and wait outside, I don't want to Arthur try and do a runner" Ben instructed.

Raf then went to go and find Miss Campbell while Fletch stayed with Ben. "Okay then, when we go in we need to go in calm as not to panic Arthur anymore", Ben said. "Yes I do know how the handle a panic attack", Fletch said. "Okay", Ben said holding his hands up.

Inside his room, Arthur was aware of all the commotion outside. He'd heard Ben's voice and knew that he was in for it. Trying desperately to stop his attack, Arthur tried everything but nothing seemed to work. They were getting closer. The maze in Arthur's head was getting smaller, he couldn't find the entrance, the exit or the middle and everywhere he ran he ran into a dead end.

Ben and Fletch approached the door with caution, staying very calm. They walked in and found Arthur sitting on the bed, on the top of the covers. He was breathing quick and heavy, his body tense and shaking; he was having a full blown panic attack. "Arthur, look at me" Ben said sitting down on the bed in front of a closed up Arthur.

Arthur didn't look at Ben, he couldn't, all he needed was an escape route. He could hear Ben's muffled voice telling him to calm down and through his blurred vision he could see Fletch standing in the room. "Just leave me alone" Arthur said. "No Arthur we're not going to do that" Ben said, knowing that Arthur was giving up.

Fletch walked over to join Ben in the hopes that Arthur might listen to him. "Arthur you're having a panic attack, all you have to do is take deep breaths" Fletch said, placing his hand on Arthur's shoulder. Unfortunately Arthur reacted badly. "Just get off me!" he shouted through his quick and heavy breathing.

Arthur dived off the bed and stood up in front of Fletch. He rubbed his hands over his face and head, breathed heavily; his hands and body were still shaking. His vision had already started to blur, the room was spinning and it was getting smaller. He felt someone reach out to try and grab his shoulders , so he shrugged them off.

"Just leave me alone!" Arthur had tears in his eyes now, so he couldn't tell whether he actually had blurred vision or whether it was just the tears. He knew how stupid he looked and every second he was cursing himself, although that just seemed to panic and frustrate him more.

By now Ben had got off the bed and was standing with Fletch trying to calm Arthur down. He looked at the distraught young man in front of him and he realised just how broken Arthur was. He knew Arthur's recovery was going to be a long process, and that was made worse by the fact that he wouldn't want to speak of about this incident.

Fletch was heartbroken. It was the only word that could describe how he was feeling. This had happened before and now it was happening again. It was a never-ending cycle with Arthur and Fletch didn't know how they were going to help him get better. However he did know that they had to help Arthur there and then.

Ben went to take Arthur's right arm but he pulled it away. He was still panicking, his body was trembling and he was stumbling backwards. While Ben was doing this, Fletch put his arm round Arthur's shoulder and took his left arm to feel his pulse. Arthur's pulse was erratic. Arthur struggled against Fletch but Fletch's grip was too strong.

Fletch managed to get Arthur to sit on the bed, as Ben kneeled down in front of him. "Arthur look at me" Ben said, placing his hand on Arthur's knee to try ease the violent shaking. Arthur couldn't look at Ben, he just couldn't. He could feel an arm round his shoulder and someone's hand on his wrist, he knew it was Fletch. "Arthur just take deep breaths" Ben said.

 _Knock knock._ Come in!" Serena shouted as Raf entered the room. "Ah Mr. Di Luca what can I do for you?" she asked putting her pen down as Raf sat down. "Well I just thought I'd let you know that Arthur's having another panic attack, and it's serious." Serena sighed, "how serious?"

"We've had to get Ben down, he and Fletch are with him" Raf explained and Serena nodded. "Once he has recovered, I want Ben and Dr. Parkhill down here, can you tell them?" Raf nodded and left the room.

Arthur had stopped struggling now but his body was trembling and his breathing was shaky. Fletch was rubbing Arthur's arm and was breathing with him to help slow his breathing down. "There you go, you're getting there Arthur"Fletch said. "Look Arthur, I know you won't want to talk about this but at some point you will have to" Ben said and he noticed Arthur's discomfort.

Raf knocked on the door and went in. "Not disrupting anything, am I?" Ben shook his head and smiled. "Serena would like to see you" Raf told Ben who stood up from where he was kneeling. "Right then I'll be back later Arthur to check on you, how's his pulse doing?" Fletch checked Arthur s pulse; it was stable. Once Ben has been told this information and Fletch had reassured him that he wasn't going to leave Arthur, Ben left the room.

Ben knocked on the door and walked into Serena's office to find her and Dr. Parkhill already sitting down. "Ah Dr. Harding please take a seat" Serena said pointing to a seat next to Dr. Parkhill. "We've reached the point now where we need to decide what we're going to do with Arthur." As Serena said this Ben and Dr. Parkhill both agreed. "Therefore I think we should think about putting Arthur on medication" Dr. Parkhill said and Ben stared at him in horror.

 **Thank you so much for reading, please review :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Again thank you so much to guest, the tail of two brothers, and LudoJudo for reviewing, I always love hearing your thoughts and ideas :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 18:

Ben knocked on the door and walked into Serena's office to find her and Dr. Parkhill already sitting down. "Ah Dr. Harding please take a seat" Serena said pointing to a seat next to Dr. Parkhill. "We've reached the point now where we need to decide what we're going to do with Arthur." As Serena said this Ben and Dr. Parkhill both agreed. "Therefore I think we should think about putting Arthur on medication" Dr. Parkhill said and ben stared at him in horror.

"What!" Ben exclaimed clearly not happy with what Dr. Parkhill had just said. "Is there a problem Ben?" Serena asked sensing that the man was annoyed. "Do you even know what prompted Arthur to get help, have you read his file?" Ben asked Dr. Parkhill. "Of course I have", Dr. Parkhill replied and Ben sighed. "Then you should know that Arthur used to self-medicate", Ben said.

Serena bit her lip, she knew what Ben was saying. She remembers the day when Arthur admitted all to her and Hanssen, it broke her heart and now she just couldn't believe how far Arthur had fallen. "He does have a point", she said to Dr. Parkhill. "Well how else are we going to bring his anxiety under control?" He asked. "I'm still working with him and he started to open up a bit more", Ben explained and Dr. Parkhill nodded.

"Look I don't want him on any medication", Ben said firmly. "It doesn't matter what you want, it's what's in the best interests of Arthur", Dr. Parkhill explained. "We are not putting him on medication!" Ben exclaimed starting to get wound up.

"Gentlemen, please!" Serena shouted, not quite believing that the two men had almost broke into a full blown argument. "I personally don't think it's a good idea to put on Arthur on medication at the moment, i would like to see if Ben can work with Arthur", Serena said and Dr. Parkhill sighed, evidently giving in.

"Okay, we won't put him on it yet, but you have to do something about these panic attacks" Dr. Parkhill said to Ben who nodded. "Yep, definitely." Ben said before standing up and walking out the room feeling quite pleased with himself.

"How you feeling?" Fletch asked Arthur who was still sitting on the bed, his body quite tense. "Fine." Arthur could not believe what had just happened, he just couldn't. He looked like an absolute idiot. He just panicked, got scared, lost control of himself; again. "Well good", Fletch said before leaving the room to go and write up what had just happened.

Ben sat at his desk and sighed. Was Arthur really a lost hope? He looked through Arthur's record, Arthur had had six panic attacks and a self harming incident since he'd returned to work and had been admitted- this number worried Ben. He knew that if he couldn't get through to Arthur, then things were going to go horribly wrong. He didn't want to put Arthur on medication, he'd much prefer Arthur to get better over time and naturally. It was like something was trapped in Arthur's head, something he was so desperate to say but it was being held back; this annoyed Ben. Somehow he'd have to find a way to get through to Arthur.

Fletch sighed, he'd just finished writing up the 6th panic attack that Arthur had just had. He wasn't going to give up on Arthur, of course he wasn't, but he didn't know how he was supposed to help him. He knew that Arthur was running out of time, and that they had to do something fast before it got too late.

The next day Arthur still felt awkward. Yesterday he'd had like his millionth panic attack, even though it had probably only been his 6th or 7th. Arthur was sure that he'd just mentally scarred himself for life, which means he'd probably done that a few times to himself.

Ben gathered his jacket and his things before leaving his office to go down and speak to Arthur. He'd had the whole night to think and had decided that today he was going to find out what triggered Arthur's anxiety. He'd remembered that with some people instead of tackling the problem and recovering, you had to understand the problem, then think about recovery.

As Ben walked down the corridors, he still couldn't stop thinking about Arthur. He knew he was running out of time, well he wasn't Arthur was, but for Ben that didn't mean anything. He reached the entrance to AAU and went in, walking round to find Raf sitting in the office, and Cara and Morven treating patients. "Arthur's just in his room" Raf as he saw Ben arrive. "Thanks", Ben replied before walking off to Arthur's room.

"Morning" Ben said to Arthur as he walked into the room. Arthur just nodded, still deeply embarrassed about what had happened. "How you feeling today?" He asked sitting down. "Fine", Arthur replied not making eye contact. "Right, first things first, the words fine and I don't know are banned for today", Ben said knowing that he had to get Arthur to open up.

"Today, Arthur I want to try and find out what triggers your anxiety." When Ben said this Arthur's head filled with dread. He knew he had no escape, not this time. Arthur knew this day would come, the day when someone wouldn't stop until they'd got the truth, the real truth.

"But I'm going to do something different", Ben said and Arthur started to listen to see what Ben was going to do. "I'm going to leave the room for 5 minutes, in that time I want you to think about what triggers your anxiety, understand." Arthur nodded his head and Ben stood up. " Oh and Arthur", he said standing up. "I would think carefully about what you say, I managed to get you off medication today, but it's still an option of you don't improve." With that Ben walked out of the room leaving Arthur to his thoughts.

Arthur pondered what Ben had just said and then be realised why he said it. Arthur used to self medicate. He didn't want to be that person, the person who couldn't live without tablets, the person who's life was such a mess that the only way to get by was take medication and he didn't want to be the person that every time they did medicate, felt the relief run through them.

No Arthur didn't want to be that person, so he was going to fight. He was gonna get better, no matter how long it would take. Now yes Arthur knew it would be tough, there would be ups and downs, but he was going to get better.

 **Sorry for the delay in updating, I've super busy this week. Anyways thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to LudoJudo, guest and for reviewing, it always means so much! :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 19:

No Arthur didn't want to be that person, so he was going to fight. He was gonna get better, no matter how long it would take. Now yes Arthur knew it would be tough, there would be ups and downs, but he was going to get better.

"You done already?" Raf joked as he walked past Ben who was waiting around in AAU. Ben smiled and chuckled to himself, glad that someone could amuse him when he was involved in such a tough and sometimes dark situation. "Why you waiting out here then?" Raf asked. "I'm giving Arthur some time to think", he said. "Has something happened?" Raf asked, concern etching in his tone.

"Oh no, Arthur's fine, I'm just getting him to think about something", Ben explained. Raf nodded, he wasn't going to ask what Arthur was thinking about because he didn't want to intrude; he guessed he'd just find out in time.

Arthur didn't know what triggered his anxiety, it wasn't that there wasn't anything because there had to be something, Arthur just didn't know what. He thought and he thought. He'd managed to come up with things like failure, pressure, him being scared that things would go wrong, how he felt guilty even when it wasn't his fault and he also seemed to panic when something got out of his control- like the situation he was in now.

He knew he couldn't tell Ben that he didn't know, it wouldn't go down well. Then that meant he had tell him something, he had to tell him parts of a story, miss out some big bits; that meant that those little parts could then make up the whole story. That sounded like a good enough plan to Arthur. However there was one thing Arthur knew could not happen; he could not have a panic attack.

Ben had given Arthur 10 minutes and he felt that was enough; he hoped it was enough. He'd seen him through the window, sitting on the bed with his knees up by his chest and his arms resting on them. He'd seen him thinking, which was good. "Right then, in I go", Ben said as Raf shot him a smile.

"You thought of some things?" Ben asked as he walked back into the room. Arthur nodded, satisfied that he'd came up with a story that Ben would be happy with. "So what do you think?" Ben asked intrigued with Arthur had came up with. Arthur took a deep breath, it was now or never, if he screwed up now that was it.

"Pressure", Arthur said. Ben nodded and wrote this down. "What do you mean by that?" Ben asked keen for Arthur to explain what he meant. "Like the pressure that I might put myself under", Arthur said not looking Ben in the eyes. "What about your parents, did they put you under any pressure?" Ben asked. He knew this was a personal question and from what he'd heard Arthur wasn't that close to his parents so talking about them might make him feel uncomfortable.

Arthur didn't know what to say. Yes his parents had out him under pressure, maybe a bit more than other kid's parents, but that was just his parents. "Sort of", Arthur said starting to feel a bit guilty for saying it. He knew that his dad would just tell him to suck it up and get on with it while his mum for tell him everything was fine and ask him if he'd studied. "What kind of pressure Arthur?" Ben asked.

Ben now knew he was pushing the boundaries, he could tell was struggling but he was giving answers so Ben wasn't going to give up now. "Erm you know just GCSE's and stuff", Arthur said hoping that the conversation would just move on. "That's good, that's good. Is there anything else?" Ben asked knowing that generally more than one thing triggered anxiety. "Erm failure", Arthur said quite confidently.

Ben nodded and wrote this down. As he did, he remembered that a while ago Arthur had mentioned failure in another of their chats. "Like me failing at stuff and other people facing the consequences as a result of my actions" Arthur said looking away from Ben and down at his feet. "So you were scared of failing", Ben clarified and Arthur nodded.

"This is good", Ben said, reassuring Arthur that he wasn't just talking for the hell of it. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Ben asked. Arthur shook his head, not really wanting to talk to Ben and open anymore than he had to. "Okay then I'll be back tomorrow just to check on you", Ben said and Arthur nodded.

"How was he?" Raf asked as he watched Ben walk out of Arthur's room. "Better than yesterday", Ben said, "I managed to get him to open up a bit. Raf nodded, pleased that Arthur had spoke to Ben. "Do you mind if I ask what was said ?" Raf asked still concerned for his friend. "Unfortunately, I can't tell you because of patient confidentiality but if he does start to talk to you, keep him engaged", Ben said and Raf nodded, making a mental note to tell Fletch.

Ben arrived back at his office and sat down at his computer. He had to write up a letter to Dr. Parkhill to tell him about his chat with Arthur. Ben was pleased that Arthur had opened up, Ben had asked some pretty tough questions and Arthur seemed to deal with them. He'd obviously put in lots of thought. Pressure and failure were both things that were common in Ben's work. People scared of doing something because it might make something else go wrong, but then if they didn't do it, it would definitely go wrong.

For Arthur the pressure that his parents put him under must of been a lot. Ben gathered that that must have been one of the bigger ones for triggers. In Ben's eyes though, they were taking a step in right direction.

 **Thank you for reading, please review :)**

 **I hope everyone had a good Christmas, and had a good new year :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to guest, LudoJudo and for reviewing it always means so much and I'm sorry that this is late :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC.**

Chapter 20:

Ben sat in his office thinking about Arthur and about his discharge. Ben knew that it wasn't far off, but he wanted to make sure Arthur was ready, that he was prepared so that when he did get back out there, he wouldn't just fall straight back down. Ben knew he would still see Arthur, which was good. Now all he had to do was build up a case, present it to Dr. Parkhill and help Arthur get his life back on track.

Arthur sat on his bed and tossed a book up and down in his hands. He knew he didn't have long left, until he would finally be able to get out. Arthur knew he wanted to go back to work, but he was worried, worried about whether he would still have a job. Then if he did, how would he be treated? He also knew that he wasn't going to leave until he'd explained _everything_ to Ben.

Arthur wasn't going to admit it, of course he wasn't, but he was worried. Worried about what the future was going to hold for him now, who would he meet, what would they think, how would he be treated, did still have a job? With all those questions running round his brain, Arthur didn't realise that his body had tensed and his breathing had quickened.

He gripped joggers and breathed deeply, knowing that if anyone saw him he'd be in there longer. He just closed his eyes, breathed deep and just tried to forget the world around him. It's one of the things Ben had taught him to do and Arthur was praying it would work. He could not have a panic attack.

Fletch sat at the nurse's station, spinning around in the chair. Of course there was only thing on his mind: Arthur. He was looking forward to when he'd come back to work, knowing that they'd be one step closer to helping Arthur's recovery. Fletch didn't realise how deep in thought he was until he heard Morven calling his name. "You alright?" She asked knowing that Fletch was deep in thought.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" Fletch replied but Morven frowned. "What's on your mind?" She asked, sensing something was troubling the nurse. "Just thinking about Arthur" Fletch replied and Morven nodded. She didn't really know Arthur, she hadn't had the chance to know him. She'd heard that he was a good doctor, but then she didn't know him and she didn't know his personality. From what she'd seen he was quite uptight, but then that was probably just his illness.

She couldn't work out whether she was actually looking forward to working with him or not, but she knew she couldn't be negative. She guessed that she was just worried that he wouldn't be as good a doctor when he returned. "What's Arthur like?" She asked.

Fletch smiled. "He's a good man", Fletch said smiling. "He's a good doctor with a good heart and he takes patient welfare seriously." Fletch sighed, "look I know that you haven't seen the best of Arthur, but I know that when he does return, you'll see the better side of him." Morven smiled and walked away.

Ben sat at his desk and typed. He was writing up the report, the report was supposed to be about Arthur's discharge and his progress but something was bugging him. It wasn't that Arthur hadn't talked, he had, but Ben still had a feeling that he was holding something back. It was the panic attacks, the things Arthur said didn't really add up to them. Yes, people could have panic attacks under pressure and be scared about failing, but people also had panic attacks when they either lost control or they were scared that they were losing control.

Arthur seemed to have panic attacks when he was in situations he didn't feel comfortable in. This could be losing control, but then it couldn't and that was something Ben needed to know before Arthur was discharged, otherwise he would feel that he had failed Arthur. Ben needed to talk to him, get him to be fully honest, so Ben could help him and give Dr. Parkhill a hard case.

"You alright?" Fletch asked as he walked into Arthur's room. "Yeah, fine" Arthur replied. Fletch stopped for a second and was shocked, it wasn't often that Arthur spoke; it was a good thing. "Erm Fletch, I'm just gonna to go the loo" Arthur said and stood up. "Yeah, alright then" Fletch replied and Arthur walked out.

Walking out on to the ward, Arthur felt weird. He hadn't walked out in the ward for quite some time. He looked round and it felt like the whole ward was staring at him, of course nobody was. Arthur walked forwards, trying to remember where the toilets were and then he remembered and walked off in that direction.

Ben gathered his things and shut down his laptop, he was off to see Arthur. He walked out of his office, locking it and turned to walk down the corridor. He'd sort of managed to work out what might have been causing Arthur's panic attacks- him losing control. It had to be. Like at the start, he'd lost control when that Mr. King had refused treatment, and on his first night he'd had panic attack because he'd lost control of his situation. Everything made sense, Ben was just annoyed that he didn't spot it earlier.

Arthur walked into the toilets and leaned against the sink. He felt sick. He hasn't eaten in days, but that probably wasn't it. Well it probably was but that wasn't bothering Arthur. He just felt sick for no reason, well there probably was a reason but Arthur didn't care. He knew Ben was on his way down and that meant he had to pull himself together and get back out there. But he couldn't, for some reason he couldn't.

Ben walked into AAU and walked over to Arthur's room, before realising he wasn't there. Ben looked around, he couldn't see him, but then he spotted Fletch talking to a patient and he walked over. "Oh alright Ben?" Fletch asked, turning round to find him standing there. "Yeah, yeah, but where's Arthur?" Ben asked and Fletch frowned.

"He said he was nipping to the loo about 5 minutes ago" Fletch said and Ben thought. Arthur wasn't back which meant he'd either left the ward or was still in the toilets. Ben wondered but he didn't want to cause a scene. Arthur had been doing so well and he didn't want to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Fletch thought about where Arthur could be and flashbacks from when Arthur went missing last time were circulating through his brain. Fletch just hoped that everything was alright.

 **So this story only 1 or 2 chapters left, but don't worry I have a sequel planned!**

 **Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review :)**

 **I loved the latest episode of Holby, Arthur was so good in it and Dom's speech about Arthur made me smile :)**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you so much to LudoJudo and for reviewing, your support means so much and I'm so glad that you're still enjoying the story.**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 21:

Leaning against the sink, Arthur couldn't help his mind from wondering. He was thinking about that, that thing he was hiding from Ben. That thing that as a doctor he knew was the main cause, trigger of what he was going through. It wasn't his grandfather, his grandfather was good to him. It was someone closer to him.

He'd mentioned it before with the pressure, but he'd never said what happened. It wasn't physical, no way, it was words and all through his childhood it was present. He guessed it's what made him who he was today.

 **Flashback**

 _10 year old Arthur sat in his room, holding his hands over his ears, blocking out the noise. His parents were arguing, again. He hated it. If he went downstairs, they would just take their anger out on him. Telling to go and redo his homework, tidy his room when he'd already tidied it a million times and when his dad would get so mad he'd blame Arthur, when none of it was his fault._

 _Arthur sat there in his room, praying that after this his parents woukd break-up and he'd never have to see them again. His mum was a control freak and stressed a lot, while his father was laid back and only cared about his son doing the family name proud. However for a 10 year old, this family life was too much._

 _Arthur decided to be brave and go downstairs to check on his mum; that's just the kind of caring person he was. He stood up and could hear his dad shouting, it was like the shouting he did when Arthur got a bad score in a test. His dad was always pushing for Arthur to be the best, always. But he had to be brave, after all, all 10 year olds where brave. He walked over to his bedroom door and opening it, the noise of his parents hit him and it took all his might to not walk back into room and shut the door._

 _He carefully walked down the stairs, being careful not to alert his parents. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he couldn't work out which room his parents were in despite their shouting being so loud that the neighbours would hear. He slowly walked into the living room, his breath catching in his throat and a thin layer of sweat had just lined his forehead._

 _His parents weren't in the living room, which meant they were in the kitchen. As he walked over to the kitchen door, he was about to push it open when the conversation took a turn._

 _"It's not just you that's stressing me out!" His mum shouted to his father. "Well what is then?" His dad asked, his patience wearing thin. "Arthur, Arthur is stressing me out!"_

 _Arthur frowned, he knew that he stressed his dad out but not his mum. How? It more like the other way round, her constant worrying would stress out Arthur. He had to change, had to start doing things right, not making any mistakes and pleasing them. The bottom line, he had to change and he would start then._

"When do you think we should start looking?" Fletch asked. They'd been waiting for nearly ten minutes and Arthur hadn't shown up. "Right you go and check the toilets, I'm going to look around here and then if we can't find him, we'll go and inform Serena." Fletch nodded at Ben's instructions and walked off in the direction of the toilets.

Arthur was still leaning against the sink, but somehow he'd managed to calm him body down. His breathing was shaky but his body wasn't trembling; this was good. He heard the door open and tried to calm his panic. "Arthur, you in here?" Arthur could tell straight away that it was Fletch and that meant he needed to calm down. He took a few deep breaths and then got himself ready to talk.

"Yep" he replied, still taking the deep breaths. "Everything alright?" Fletch asked as he came into the toilets. By looking at Arthur he could tell something had happened, but he didn't know what. "You sure?" Fletch asked. "Yeah" Arthur replied, trying to sound confident. Fletch could tell from the breathlessness in Arthur s voice that he'd had some sort of attack, but if he's been able to control it then that means that Ben is right to be thinking about discharge.

"We've been looking for you, didn't know whether you'd done a runner" Fletch said smiling and Arthur to his surprise smiled back. "I think Ben wants to talk to you if you're ready" Fletch said. Arthur looked at himself in the mirror and thought. He knew he had to tell Ben what he'd just remembered, it might be his only chance of getting discharged. It going to be hard and Arthur was debating in his head, he was sure that Ben had clocked that he was holding something back.

Taking a deep breath Arthur took his hands away from the sink and stood up straight. He straightened out his t-shirt and his ruffled. He'd only just realised that he'd been wearing to same clothes for around six weeks, he'd must have smelt really bad. Turning to face Fletch, who he noticed looked worries but then relieved at the same time, he smiled and nodded. "Yeah, let's go" he said and followed Fletch out.

"Raf, you haven't seen Arthur have you?" Ben asked as he approached Raf after he'd finished with a patient. "Erm no sorry i haven't, has something happened?" Raf asked starting to get concerned about Arthur. "I don't know, he said he was going to the toilet about 10 minutes ago but he hasn't came back" Ben explained and Raf nodded.

Like Fletch, he too could remember the last time Arthur went missing; it didn't end well. He was hoping that it was nothing but as always with Arthur there was always something going on in the back of his head. "Fletch has to look for him now" Ben and Raf smiled when he seen who was behind them. "And it looks like he found him."

Ben turned around to come face to face with Arthur and Fletch. He was relieved more than anything. Arthur was looking around but Ben could tell that there was something different about him. He seemed more confident. "You alright?" Ben asked and was surprised when Arthur looked at him. "I'm ready" Arthur replied.

 **So there's the thing Arthur had been hiding. I hope it's not too disappointing but it fits in with Arthur's story and I know we don't know much about Arthur's background but I hope we find out soon.**

 **Thank you for reading, please review I would love to know what you think :)**

 **Also I loved the most recent episode of Holby, Arthur's back on Keller :) but i think I might miss him on AAU.**

 **See you next chapter, for the last chapter :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you to LudoJudo and for reviewing and I really hope you enjoy the final chapter :)**

 **I don't own Holby city all rights go to the BBC**

Chapter 22:

Arthur followed Ben down to his office, staying calm and relaxed. Arthur knew this was right, he felt ready and if he wanted to be discharged then this was the way to go. They walked around the corner and Arthur could feel his legs starting to shake, but he had to stay in control. He had to take back control.

"Take a seat" Ben said as he and Arthur walked into his office. Arthur took a seat on one of the chairs and sat awkwardly and tense. Ben sat down at his desk and waited. He wasn't going to push Arthur; this was a big thing and from what Ben knows, if this goes well then Arthur could be discharged tomorrow at the earliest. He was just glad that Arthur had came to him, but then he was also nervous. This was proof that Arthur been holding something back and Ben didn't know what the next half an hour would be like.

Arthur looked around trying to divert his gaze from Ben's eyes, he had to speak soon. He swallowed and took a deep breath, placing his shaky hands on his thighs and got ready to speak. "My parents" Arthur said trying to hide the tremble in his voice. "Weren't like anyone else's parents." Ben leaned forward over his desk and listened carefully. "How?" Ben asked. Arthur took a deep breath and carried on.

"My mum a control freak and stressed out while my dad didn't really care about me, well he cared about my grades, my reputation and making the family name proud" Arthur explained and Ben mentally kicked himself. He could put the pieces together now and it all made sense, why didn't he realise this before? "How did that affect you?" Ben asked, he knew he was pushing his luck.

"One day I heard them shouting so i went downstairs and what I heard changed me" Arthur said, trying to hold back his tears. "What did you hear?" Ben asked, intrigued. "They said" Arthur took a deep breath. He could do this, he'd came so far and he was not going to give up now. "I heard my mum say that I was stressing her out" Arthur said as he turned his head away as a tear fell down his face.

Ben sighed and he knew where this was going. Arthur had heard this and only this, which is why he became controlling and obsessive. He wanted to not only get it right, but make sure it was perfect. That's why he panics when something goes wrong or gets out of his control.

"How old were you?" Ben asked. "10" Arthur choked out and Ben could tell that this was upsetting him. "Is that why you panic when something goes wrong or gets out of your control?" Ben asked and Arthur nodded, wiping his eyes when his hand. "You've done well today" Ben said. "And I think, that you could be discharged within the next week." Arthur nodded, pleased that at least something had came from him opening up.

"Right, I'm going to finish off my report and you can go back to the ward" Ben said as Arthur stood up and tried to hide his tear stained face. "If you need me just come and get me, okay" Ben said and Arthur nodded before walking out.

Arthur slowly made his way down the corridor, stopping to sit down on a bench. He'd done it, the hardest part it was done. Now he could focus on moving forward, a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. Arthur stood up and carried on walking back to the ward.

Ben started to type, knowing that what he was writing would mean that Arthur would be discharged and ultimately have his life back. Ben had finished writing his assessment but now he needed to write about aftercare and he knew what was going to happen.

Arthur walked back onto the ward and was met by Raf. "You alright?" Raf asked, nothing that Arthur's eyes were puffy. "Yeah, I'm good" Arthur replied and smiled before walking to his room. Raf stood there, something felt different about Arthur but he didn't know what. Raf just hoped that this was Arthur making progress and not putting on a show.

Arthur walked back into his room and sat down on the bed. He looked out of the window at the sight of AAU and all its wonder. He'd done it and now all he had to do was wait.

Ben sighed and pressed save on the report, satisfied with what he had wrote. He printed it off, flicked through it and put it into a folder for Dr. Parkhill. Ben walked through the corridors and round to Dr. Parkhill's office. He checked his watch before going in, making sure he wasn't too early, and then knocked on the door.

"Dr. Harding, please take a seat" Dr. Parkhill said as Ben took a seat by his desk. "I've got Arthur's report" Ben said placing the folder on the desk. "Right, thank you. How has Arthur seemed to you?" Dr. Parkhill asked and Ben shifted in hia seat to get comfortable.

"He told me something quite big today" Ben said and this got Dr. Parkhill's attention. "He told me that when he was younger he heard his mum say that he stressed her out and you can probably figure it out from there, it's all down in the report" Ben explained and Dr. Parkhill nodded.

"The question is though, do you think he's ready to be discharged? Dr. Parkhill asked and Ben sighed.

 _3 days later_

"This is it, Arthur your lucky day. And as soon as we get out here you're having a shower and changing your clothes" Dom said as he rushed around Arthur's room gathering all of his things. Arthur sat on the bed, his shoes on and ready to go. He was happy but he felt slightly nervous.

"Are you feeling alright?" Dom asked and Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yes, for the 100th time, I'm alright" Arthur said with a smile on his face. "Alright, alright, ooh look here they come" Dom said nodding to the window where you could see Dr. Parkhill and Ben walking towards the room.

"Morning" Dr. Parkhill said as he walked into the room followed by Ben who shot Arthur an encouraging smile. "Right then, let's get started" Dr. Parkhill said as he sat down in one of the seats that had been put down for him and Ben.

"After eight weeks Arthur we now think that you are ready for discharge" Dr. Parkhill explained and Arthur nodded. "Now I've read about the progress that you've made with Dr. Harding so therefore when you return to work you will carry on seeing him once a week. Is that okay?" Dr. Parkhill asked and Arthur nodded, he just wanted to go home.

"Now, I've spoken with Serena and Hanssen and we've decided that to help settle back home, you'll return to work in 3 weeks time, okay?" Ben explained and Arthur again, nodded. "But if you need me during that time then don't hesitate to contact me."

"Okay then, I think we'll get these papers signed and then you can be on your way" Dr. Parkhill said as he handed Arthur the forms and a pen. "Woohoo!" Dom exclaimed although Arthur couldn't work out whether it real or sarcastic.

"There you go" Arthur said handing back the form and pen to Dr. Parkhill. "Right then, you're ready to go you we'll leave you to it" Ben said as he stood up and left just before Dr. Parkhill did.

"You ready then?" Dom asked. "Yep" Arthur replied as he hopped off the bed and grabbed his bag. "Let's go then" Dom said as he and Arthur left the ward and walked through the hospital. "You know, we should celebrate when we get home" Dom said he put his arm around Arthur's shoulder. "Dom, the only thing I want to do now is sleep."

 **So there you go, the final chapter but don't worry I have a sequel planned! I just want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourite, your support had been incredible and I really hope that you have enjoyed this story :)**

 **I'm planning to get the sequel up in 2-3 weeks and also for the sequel do you think Arthur should be on AAU or Keller? Anyways I'll see you then :)**


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